Rampages Airsoft Profile

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(Designed for your phone)
 

My Armoury

2 x Sawn Off M79s
AK 47
Automag .44
Barrett M82A1M
Colt 25
Colt Delta Elite
G3 SG1
G3 uSAS
G36c
M134 Minigun
M15A4 Carbine
M4 Carbine
MP5k
Orca Stocked APS-2
P90 Watchmaker
RX4 Storm
Revolver Launcher
SL-9
SPAS 12
SR-16
SR-47
Sig 552
Sig Sauer P226
USP Tactical
VSR10 Pro Sniper
VZ61 Scorpion

Old Armoury, R.I.P

2 x Socom Mk.23
2 x VZ61 Scorpion
3 x Blank Firing Grenades
3 x Colt Delta Elite
4 x Blank Firing Grenades
AK Beta Spetsnaz
Benelli M3 Shorty
Colt 25
Famas SV
G3 SAS
G5k (mp5k)
M4 A1
M79 Full Stock
Machine Pistol Type U
P90 TR
Revolver Launcher
USP Tactical

You know you've been playing Airsoft too much when?...


1 ... you starve yourself even though you have over £200 in your wallet because there's a gun you just have to buy.

2 ... you start randomly shouting grenade when things fall over in the room.

3 ... your friends come over for drinks and instead of buying booze, you brought an AK47.

4 ... you wake up with dimples all over your body from sleeping on a mattress of BBs.

5 ... you see derelict buildings and think, that's a cool Airsoft site.

6 ... instead of a sign saying beware of the pitbull on the gate, you have beware of the bullpup.

7 ... you wake up and get dressed into your combat gear on none skirmish weekends.

8 ... people stare at you walking down the street because it's a Sunday and you're wearing your full kit.

9 ... Rambo took a bullet to the shoulder, and you call out "TAKE YOUR HIT!".

10 ... you start looking at objects around the house and imagining what gearbox you could put inside it to make it fire BBs.

11 ... calling for help in a supermarket you shout "MARSHAL!".

12 ... your speedometer on your car has FPS instead of MPH.

13 ... you call out "BANG!" whilst being held up at gun point, and then proceed to argue with the person that they are now dead.

14 ... you can talk about a gun for more than 5 minutes solid.

15 ... anything stronger than cardboard is seen as effective cover.

16 ... you fill up your lighters with red gas instead of lighter fuel.

17 ... you go and stand near builders with high vis jackets because you assume they are the marshals marking the dead zone.

18 ... you start looking for firing positions whilst walking the dog.

19 ... you clear every room in your house when you come home.

20 ... you have more combat gear than normal clothes in your wardrobe.

21 ... there's a gun in every room in your house, including the garage, shed and attic

22 ... instead of pouring a bowl of cereal you pour a bowl of BBs.

23 ... you start claiming fights between your friends as 'Blue-on-blue'.

24 ... you have to scan a hedgerow to make sure no-one's hiding in there.

25 ... you start looking for tags on people to see if they are your friend or not.

26 ... walking with your mates you keep a 10 foot spacing.

27 ... anything hits you, you stick a hand in the air, call "HIT" and walk towards the nearest hospital.

28 ... you're playing video games and claim that sniper with the 30 kill streak isn't taking his hits.

29 ... you're hobbling about the house because you keep standing on that random BB that's escaped your gun bag.

30 ... you have magazines, top slides, slings, gas, allen keys and sights on your work desk.

31 ... you stop referring to your work desk as a work desk, just a gun bench.

32 ... your tool box consists of Allen keys, gun lube and a Leatherman; all the other tools got sold for that new gun...

33 ... you use gun oil instead of KY jelly with the missus.

34 ... you've woken up with a serious hang over and found your gun lying stripped next to you with a Systema tune up kit fitted.

35 ... you see dead people wherever large groups are congregating.

36 ... you tell your mates you'll meet them in the dead zone, rather than at the pub.

37 ... you call a ceasefire whenever you walk between people.

38 ... instead of dialling 999, you turn to channel 6.

39 ... you stop using a remote to change the TV channel, and start using your gun.

40 ... you refer to a pub crawl as the game plan and the pubs as objectives.

41 ... you plan entry strategies before going in to a building.

42 ... you only respond to your call sign and not your actual name.

43 ... you go to your dealer to buy ammo.

44 ... you fall over and break your leg during a game and your first words are, "how's my gun?".

45 ... you wonder why the guns in the films go bang when the real ones go whirr.

46 ... you go to a photo shoot and take your kit with you.

47 ... you walk round the office carrying the files like a gun.

48 ... you think of your non-Airsofting friends as strange.

49 ... trying to sell your house the ad reads; 'small cosy semi with spacious living room, 3 bedrooms and an armoury'.

50 ... you take up firing positions when you hear loud noises.

51 ... you buy 2 bags of ammo to keep you going for a few games, and end up having to buy more next game.

52 ... you get annoyed at people in films who take 100s of shots without reloading, then you realise there using a high cap.

53 ... your family doesn't bat an eyelid when you walk round the house in your full kit with your guns.

54 ... you find yourself wondering how you could 'assassinate' someone in a large open space.

55 ... you end up on an Airsoft forum every time you're near a computer.

56 ... looking at a completely made up gun you can work out which bits of other guns could be used to make it.

57 ... people stop asking why your face is covered in welts.

58 ... you carry eye protection around with you everywhere.

59 ... every sentence you say can be related back to Airsoft.

60 ... you see a real sniper rifle shoot, and think, holy hell, what spring has he got in that.

61 ... you start looking at your car, and wonder if the suspension could somehow be fitted in your gun.

62 ... you have at least one gun you can't find in your house.

63 ... you get annoyed at everyone saying your sport is like paintball, yet use paintball to describe what it is you do.

64 ... you use radio speak over the phone.

65 ... you can spot your enemy outside of Airsoft.

66 ... it hails and you think someone must have called in an airstrike, put your hand up, and proceed to the nearest dead zone.

67 ... you buy a new gun, and almost immediately want another one to duel wield them.

68 ... you start thinking of other things you can fire from an M203.

69 ... you spend more time talking about your guns than you do actually playing Airsoft.

70 ... you're standing in the queue at the bank and then realise your still wearing your shoulder holster with pistol that you're bedding in.

71 ... a real shot gun only fires 3 pellets.

72 ... anything that can hold a BB becomes a weapon.

73 ... you could show a ninja a thing or two about hiding.

74 ... you get at least 5 bang kills a game, by accident.

75 ... your partner starts an argument with you and you call for a marshal to intervene.

76 ... you have your call sign written on everything.

77 ... you go shopping in your ghillie suit, and wonder why people are looking at you funnily.

78 ... you buy your girl DPM Combats instead of frilly underwear.

79 ... you have to re-plaster the walls every week because you keep missing the target you've setup.

80 ... you turn into a mil-simmer every full moon.

81 ... you stop and ask for directions to the enemy base on the motorway.

82 ... you have the location of all the dead zones on your GPS.

83 ... you end up looking like a professional body builder because your guns are that loaded with accessories.

84 ... you know more about your guns than you do about your university course.

85 ... you have to make a checklist to see if you Airsoft too much.

86 ... you turn up to an interview for a highly paid job wearing your ghillie suit.

87 ... you start testing your guns on yourself just to see if they really do hurt.

88 ... you dream of playing Airsoft more than girls.

89 ... you go to bed and your gun rack is closer to you than your partner.

90 ... you break out in hives because you haven't been to an Airsoft skirmish in over 2 weeks.

91 ... BBs, Gas and green fees are listed on your tax return.

92 ... you have spent more on 1 gun than you have on your car.

93 ... if sold, your armoury could feed a 3rd world country.

94 ... thinking about selling your armoury makes you feel woozy.

95 ... you get brought mags and ammo as house warming presents.

96 ... you have a plan of what you would do if you won the lotto, and the first thing on the list is buy your school and turn it into an Airsoft site.

97 ... your wife asks you to look after the baby, and when she comes back your cradling your mp5k.

98 ... you apply the minimum engagement rules to real weapons.

99 ... you miss the birth of your first child to be at the Ground Zero Weekender.

100 ... you buy your vehicles not on looks or gadgets, but how many guns they can hold.

101 ... you have thought about making anti material rockets in Airsoft form.

102 ... the length of your new relationship is determined by her reaction to Airsoft.

103 ... "white load" jokes aren't funny anymore.

104 ... you use guns in chat up lines, "Hey, you wanna see my 50 cal?".

105 ... you can buy any gun and not have to worry about extra mags for it.

106 ... you can field strip a gun in less time than it takes to undo a bra.

107 ... you get lit up like an x-mas tree from 5ft away and it doesn't hurt anymore.

108 ... you spend more time looking at gun porn than you do actual porn on the internet.

109 ... you spend more time playing with guns than you do your wife.

110 ... you realise that most of this list applies to you.

This page was last updated on Thursday, 10th June, 2010 @ 01:31pm